Small steps to feel better on Blue Monday

Supposedly the most depressing day of the year - when resolutions are done away with, clothes are fitting snuggly and payday still feels miles away - Blue Monday gloomily unites the nation. But what are some simple activities we can do to feel chirpier?

There is much to be said for the sense of agency and empowerment felt when you take responsibility for your own mental fitness, rather than relying on healthcare professionals to do it for you – just one reason I wrote a psychological workbook Singing in the Rain for people to complete on their own, with no need for any medical professional to help them. 

Many simple activities instil resilience and promote peace of mind without resorting to medicine, including reading to give perspective, breathing exercises, eating with good mental health in mind, using mindfulness and yoga. Though of course medication has an important and sometimes vital role in some cases.

Worry log

I use a ‘worry log’: I note down my concerns, dividing them into worries where I can devise an action plan – which I do - and those where there I need to find acceptance as there is no obvious solution at the moment. The simple act of writing down what is bothering me is part of its efficacy: once something is noted, I feel more in control rather than at the mercy of my anxious mind. 

small steps

So important is it to remind myself of my power to affect my mood that I take particular care to make my bed to my own satisfaction every morning, the white duvet perfectly aligned, and my pillows nicely plumped up. The act of achieving and controlling something as soon as you wake up puts you in the right mood to continue a sense of control throughout your day. 

Take control

These examples may not seem significant, but the act of taking control of small decisions in this way will give you confidence in your own power to affect larger decisions. Powerful businessmen and women and politicians often adopt these tactics to establish a sense of control when entering a boardroom or unfamiliar environment. They might change the position of a glass or alter the height of the microphone on a pulpit or reshuffle the papers in front of them. 

Watch your language

Another helpful step to wellbeing, I have found, is to watch your language and think how you could rephrase statements about your own powerlessness when you are feeling low. Language itself can make us feel more of a victim and gives our power to others. So instead of saying, ‘I’m at the mercy of my mood’, you might say, ‘I can choose how to respond to my mood.’ 

Or instead of saying, ‘I’m never going to get on top of all the work I’ve been given,’ you might say, ‘Over time I can learn how to manage my workload.’ 

Simple kindness

Finally, being kind to others has a very real effect on our happiness. We become kinder to ourselves and develop a more compassionate, accepting inner voice, which you can call upon to help you counteract negative thinking. You might consider paying a coffee forward; smiling and saying hello to the shop assistant, ticket collector or waiter; when late saying thanks for being patient rather than sorry I’m late; and paying attention to what someone is saying when they talk to you. Listen to understand and not to reply. There’s a reason we have two ears and one mouth, as the old saying goes. 

I hope you found this blog post helpful in some way and I’m always keen to hear your thoughts - let me know over on Twitter @RachelKellyNet